During my twenties, monogamy felt very restricting and unnatural . This was during a time in my life when I was desperately trying to conform to my then husband’s and family’s expectations. I was never able to live up to those standards for longer than a year.
I felt tremendous guilt when my previous husband (now my very awesome ex-husband ) showed disappointed and hurt when he found out on several occasions that I’d been unfaithful to him. We eventually got a divorce .
Although the divorce felt like a death In the family, It was the most liberating feeling I’d felt in years. At that point, I decided that marriage and monogamous relationships were not for me. I was content with living my life on my terms, guilt-free and shameless.
A couple of years later, I met and fell in love with my current husband. I was very upfront with Joseph that I was never throwing away my little black book and would continue seeing others. Fortunately, he always fantasized about being married to a “hotwife” and having a monogamous partner wasn’t a priority for him. We then came to the happy conclusion that we were made for each other. I’ve finally found someone who I can be myself with.